The magazines and media all show women with flat taut bellies. You hardly ever see real bellies. Women who have had children do not EASILY have smooth flat bellies. Growing a baby changes your body. Cutting one out of you does too.
I have had three c-sections. This last one at almost 43 years old, I encountered something called abdominal distasis. My stomach muscles have spread open. I can feel a balloon-like shape bulge when I cough. I look like I'm newly pregnant, and my baby is 10 months old.
I never appreciated my belly when it wasn't like this.
I was always dissatisfied with my belly-- all my life because it didn't look like I thought it should... according to some unattainable picture in a magazine or our image-obsessed society's ideas of beauty.
I realize now it WAS beautiful. Perfect.
Looking back, I see all the things I didn't like about myself are things I really like now. Now that I look even worse than then. Does this make sense to you? Do you do this?
It's all a construct in my head. Will I be able to love this belly now? Instead of later down the road-- when I look even older?
4 comments:
Yep, we mommies with funky bodies EARN it. It's not easy to accept how your body changes after babies come, but it is what it is.. and it IS a badge of honor.
Thank you for having the courage to show the stomach that looks so very much like mine... only mine has a thick scare starting south and ending at my belly button. When I went back to the doctor a year after my son was born, he said to me this... "I'm sorry about your stomach, but at the time I figured you'd be more interested in living rather than your vanity." That day my son was 48 seconds from being asphyxiated and when they thought they had saved the baby by taking him 2 months premature, they realized that all my organs were shutting down and that they had to also save me.
My scars, my stomach, represent life, and strength and courage to me and there are times when I look in the mirror and feel sad that it will never be taut again, but that thought quickly dissipates when I think how lucky I am to be alive and how very blessed that my now 22 year old son is alive and a bright and loving, compassionate young adult.
Thanks again for having the bravery to represent us all!
I have some of the muscle spreading, too. My midwife told me a good success story of her SIL having twins, having a large distasis, and working it back together through gentle exercise. Of course, I never want to exercise, so it's a bit of a problem. Thanks for letting me know the Sarafoop connection. I'm sure I'll be talking with her today. Cheers, M.
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